No Star Gets To Shine Forever...

There is beauty in knowing that even after we are gone if we've touched people, pieces of us remain... ~ Me

I was sleeping when it happened. I had just awoken and reached for my phone when I read the news. I was on twitter scrolling up my timeline when I saw a few tweets stating Whitney Houston had passed. I didn't believe it at first. Afterall, twitter has a habit of killing people off and then pulling a "Jesus/Lazarus miracle" and then bringing them back to life. I changed the channel to see if it was true and to my dismay the news outlets were reporting that Mrs. Houston had died at the young age of 48, leaving behind a 19 year old daughter, her mother, her brother, and I'm certain a large amount of family, friends, and fans. My heart hurt and the inevitable tears started to flow... Most think I'm a tough cookie but the people who really know me know that it doesn't take much to turn on the waterworks. I believe in GOD and what the promise is for the afterlife but there is a part of me that cannot wrap my brain around the finality that comes with death. How much more did this person have to give? Was the best still yet to come? How do the people that are left behind cope? That is always what shakes me the most. The thoughts of the people that are left behind. I reflect back on the death of my grandmother last year. She lived a full life having died the day before her 83rd birthday and I was thankful for the thirty years that I was blessed to share with her but my heart ached for my mother most... The thought of losing the person that I hold most dear to me forms a knot in my chest and brings about feelings that I don't know how to deal with. I hurt for my mother because I knew that more than likely, those were the feelings she was experiencing. The only call I made was to my momma. Even at 31, I still need to hear her voice when I'm in a rut. She makes things better. My heart aches for Bobbi Kristina...

Whitney & her daugter Bobbi

Thoughts of growing up and listening and watching Whitney Houston's videos flashed through my mind. The years of her big hair and her colorful clothing flashed through my mind. Her ride or die love for Bobby Brown and the highs and lows of their relationship that played out in public flashed through my mind. Her struggles in recent years flashed through my mind. Her incredible gift... That flashed through my mind. It overshadowed every other thought. Music is the universal language. Good music has the ability to allow you to experience a plethora of emotions. Whitney Houston's music had that power. "How Will I Know" takes me back to my pre-adolescent days when I lived in Linden,NJ and was in awe of my older cousins who dressed like Whitney and saw how excited they got as we watched and danced to her music videos. I would belt that song out into my hairbrush as if I believed that some man was listening. "Greatest Love All" was the song that, even as a child, made me realize that loving myself might just be a good idea. And then there was "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)"! I'd like to believe that this song is what earned me my dancing shoes! I may be a whole lot of woman but I have never been shy about cutting a rug! This song was one of my catalysts! Lots of songs followed.  "Didn't We Almost Have It All", "Where Do Broken Hearts Go", "All The Man That I Need", "It's Not Right But It's Okay", "Exhale (Shoop Shoop), "Why Does It Hurt So Bad", "Try It On My Own", "Million Dollar Bill", "I Look To You", "I Didn't Know My Own Strength", and her most successful single "I Will Always Love You" from the 1992 Bodyguard soundtrack. I could go on, but there are too many to name... Each one of those songs blasted through our radios, tvs, iPods, computers and left indelible thoughts and memories in our minds and hearts. That's what good music does to you. It takes you back to a certain time or place in your life and makes those memories rich. We're all the main character in our lives and the supporting characters in others, the music that we listen to and love simply becomes our soundtracks. Whitney Houston's music has played in some of my favorite scenes...

Whitney Houston circa 1985

Whitney Houston was human, despite her enormous talent she had issues just like any other person. I remember when Aaliyah died in my early twenties and how saddened and thoroughly confused I was by her death. She was young and beautiful and I could not for the life of me understand why GOD had chosen to cut her life so short. It was then at the age of twenty that it dawned on me that death did not discriminate. When death comes, it takes with it who it will, regardless of who and what you are. Young or old, fat or thin, extremely attractive or not so much we all have a debt to pay. It clicked for me then that celebrities were no different from you and I. They're just people who have been blessed enough to be able to do what they love and be compensated and lauded because of it. The life and the death of the iconic Whitney Houston drove that point home for me tonight.

Whitney & Bobby

I've heard some of the things that people have to say about Whitney. A lot of it has been good but as can be expected some people have had nothing but negative to say. I liken it to going to someone's funeral, standing in front of the church, and talking about how horrible a person the deceased was. I used to always joke about why no one ever said anything negative about a person at their funeral. Now I understand why. There's no room for it. The last thing needed in death is judgement from people who honestly are no better than them. We remember the good times in death. We pray for peace for the deceased and their family, and we hopefully are reminded that our time here is short and that it is our RESPONSIBILITY to do our very best with the time that has been gifted to us. Say what you want about Mrs. Houston but you have to say this, she lived her life and shared the very best of herself with us. After you allow that thought to marinate in your mind, ask yourself this. What will people say about you when you're no longer here? How much will people be affected by your passing? What will your legacy be? If you draw a blank, I recommend you spend less time debating on what Whitney Houston did and didn't do and spend a lot more time focusing on you.


When someone passes in my family we mourn but we spend a lot of time sharing memories and laughing as we ponder things they did and said. A few years ago, Whitney was interviewed by talk show host Wendy Williams back in her radio days on NY's WBLS. Wendy in true fashion, had gotten a bit wreckless with her line of questions and Whitney frustrated by all the comments Wendy had made about her simply told her to "...watch what you say, that's all baby girl, watch what the f#@k you say..."! Indeed, Whitney Houston was as human as you and I. I hope that you all hear that voice as the negative words form on your lips or as you punch the keys to type and share those negative thoughts.


 I'll be keeping Mrs. Houston and her family in prayer, and her music in heavy rotation. GOD willing there's still a lot of time left in my life and a lot more soundtracks to create.

Rest In Perfect Peace Whitney Houston aka Nippy. Thank you very much for your amazing gift.

Happily Single After: Turkey Day Edition

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was "thank you", that would suffice." ~Unknown 


I remember holidays past when my ex and I would plot out how we'd spend the holidays. Would we go down to Georgia to his immediate family or my extended family? Would we take a drive down the turnpike to spend the day with my parents and my sisters? Would we stay local and visit his family?  This was the dilemma we were faced with every year. Wherever we ended up, our holidays were always filled with that warm, fuzzy feeling of being in love and being around the people that loved us most. Sometimes it was as simple as our eyes meeting from opposite sides of the room or simply sitting close and sharing a quiet joke about some family member who had had too much to drink that made me look forward to what the holidays meant to us.

This year, as with a few before it, I'm going through the holiday season solo. As most can imagine, in the past this has not been my favorite time of the year. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. We're the craziest, funniest, most honest, and the most loving people I know (I say that with not an ounce of bias. LOL), but I always cringe at the idea that somewhere along the way the question of ,"Pumpkin, what are you waiting on?" will come up and become the topic of conversation while everyone talks about me like I'm not in the room. I'm pretty certain I'm being a bit dramatic, but the thought of being the single cousin, sister, friend, or auntie while the majority of the women I know are well on their way at times made me feel like I'd been thrown into the outcast role like Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, (Cinderella would have been a more fitting reference). The weird thing is that I generally don't feel this way during the other ten months of the year. Although I miss  the intimacy of having that one on one bond with someone from time to time, that sense would only become heightened during the last two months of the calendar year.

So as the clock approaches 3:30am on Thanksgiving morning and most of my female peers are in their kitchens prepping their turkeys and finishing up on their side dishes and deserts, I'm lying in bed typing and looking forward to what my Thanksgiving day will be. First, I'm excited about the idea of volunteering in a soup kitchen tomorrow! I've donated money, food, and clothing to different causes in the past. I'm even a Big Sister of America. There's something about a person though, that takes the time out on what most people consider to be the most intimate days of the year, to help someone you don't know. I admire that. I decided that this year as a single woman I wanted to start my own tradition and that regardless of whether or not I'm with someone going forward that it's a tradition I'd like to continue for at least one of the holidays on a yearly basis. I have so much to be thankful for, and although it may not seem like much, I get no greater feeling than knowing that I've been a blessing to someone without the expectation of anything in return.

I also intend to cook. PAUSE. I'm dieting now and refraining from most of the foods I love, (GOD give me strength in these next few hours). I also have a dress that I bought a size too small that I need to be able to fit into in a few days. BUT, I decided that I need to take the initiative in hosting holiday events. I'm the queen of planning soirees and I've decided that for Christmas I'm going to plan a shindig for my close family and friends just to prove, to them but more to myself, that we single girls can do it too! I rock in the kitchen and I love entertaining so why not?!?! Food, family, friends, football (wait, there are no NFL games on Christmas), and fun sounds like the perfect day! Besides, I'm getting rusty and I need the practice!

I also intend to spend a part of my long weekend working on this blog!!! I have this vision of what I want it to be! I've been doing work behind the scenes and making connections so it's time to make those things come to fruition. I'm excited about the contacts I've been making and I relish in the positive things that people say after reading my posts. It makes me proud because I'm sharing a piece of me with you and I love that there are people out there who not only enjoy it, but that also relate to it and can take pieces of me where they go. I also love that so many guys have been willing to be featured in the "Bonjour Monsieur" section of the blog as a guy of the week. Not only growing my readership, but also assisting in my thoughts that maybe, quite possibly I might just assist in a love connection or a strong like connection at the least! It's also great to see so many people heading their own businesses and looking forward to partnering with me to have their businesses posted on the "Dash of Sass" portion of the blog! I love it!

Outside of my job as a GM with a hotel chain, I'm engaged in two other businesses. There's a not for profit that I'm a co-founder of and another for profit venture that I've just begun that I'm extremely excited about. I've been spreading myself thin for the past few weeks and the idea that I have four days to concentrate on all things getting me to an early retirement has me jumping for joy!

So as the yawns start coming more frequently and I prepare to get a few hours of shut eye before either my dog or my alarm wakes me up, I'm reflecting on all the things I'm thankful for. I have a great base of family and friends who walk with me every step of the way ensuring that I'm never alone. I have a job that exceeds all of my needs and enough passion and a plan to make things happen. I have my health and after burning a few pounds I'll make some man wanna slap his momma when I shimmy into that too small dress. Most of all, I have my faith in GOD and the wherewithal to know that it's bigger than me. I may be single but it's a state and not a curse and I can't think of one reason that I should feel any less blessed and thankful than the next...  Later on today I intend to serve a few people, who if not for the efforts of some organizations, wouldn't have any options for a Thanksgiving meal. Afterwards I intend to share stories, catch up on current events, talk about that family member that works my last nerve, ask a million questions during the football game, and laugh so much it hurts with my family and friends. If time permits, I may even schedule a date or two for this weekend. Whatever the case, I intend to spend my weekend and more of my time being thankful and happily single after...

GOD Bless you, your family, and your friends. Happy Thanksgiving!